The Everlast - Star Light, Star Bright #04

(B. Schatz)

The Everlast - Chapter One - Star Light, Star Bright #04
by B. Schatz

“Ah. Hmm. Yes. Hmm. Quite.”

“Could you please keep your thoughts inside your head?”

“Apologies, dear brother. I did not realize they were leaking from my mouth.”

“Well, they were.”

“Terribly sorry.”

“Don’t mention it.”

The Ugly Boys were the owners of two of the finest minds in all of Everything, and they both knew this fact because… well, they were the owners of two of the finest minds in all of Everything. They had created miraculous creations, calculated difficult calculations, and were the driving force behind the ship’s assent into the sky.

And right now, they were putting the finishing touches on their plan to catch a star themselves.

“You shouldn’t be putting that there.”

“Have you seen the latest version of the schematics? This is where it’ll need to be.”

“You’re going to ruin everything!”

“Not if you ruin it first…”

At that moment, a knock arose from the door.

“What!?” they both grumbled sharply.

‘Pardon my intrusion,’ Pips stated while he walked into the room, ‘But the captain requests your attendance on the main deck. We’re arriving at the star.’

“You see, we’re here!”

“I’m not deaf.”

“Well, sometimes, you might as well be.”

“Just make sure that everything is in it’s proper place.”

“Everything is in it’s proper place.”

“I still think that you should be installing that component elsewhere.”

“You never look at the new schematics…”

‘Ahem?’

“We’ll be up shortly,” one of the Ugly Boys grumbled.

‘I shall alert the captain.’

“You know I hate it when you act like this.”

“And I hate it when you change the schematics.”

They loved each other quite dearly.

Ω

‘They say they will be ready momentarily sir,’ Pips took the news back to Peter.

“And do you believe them?”

‘I would certainly hope so,’ Pips stated, ‘An operation like this will surely be bringing the Starcrossers about quite soon, and the crew is already running on fumes as things are.’

“A simple yes or no, Pips.”

‘Hopefully,’ Pips replied, ‘I am in no mood to have blame pinned on me if they don’t follow through. If you are so worried, you can check on them yourselves.’

“It would be unfitting for a captain to run errands when he has a perfectly good crew to do such things for him,” Peter mused.

‘Oh, come off it. Everyone knows you can’t stand the sight of the Ugly Boys.’

“That is beside the point.”

The Ugly Boys, though smart, were indeed incredibly ugly. This was, quite ironically, a family trait that wasn’t exactly inherited. The Uglies, you see, believed in the adage that children were to be seen, and not heard, or else they were hit in the face with the large knobbly wooden stick that had been used in the Ugly family for generations.

Many an Ugly had gotten their face rearranged by the Ugly stick.

The Ugly Boys, however fared particularly bad before they escaped from their family and somehow managed to have their eyes, nose, mouth and ears misplaced amongst their respective faces. The sight of them had never ceased to give Peter the willies, which was why he was glad they mostly kept to themselves in their room.

And this was why his body cringed when they emerged from the lower decks, carrying an enormous silken looking cloth.

“Oh good. They’re here,” Peter gave a tepid smile.

“Sorry for taking so long!” one of them stated from their mouth at the top of their face, “This pinhead kept changing the plans.”

“Because your original plans were flawed.”

“Perfection is hardly flawed.”

Blinking his eyes and averting his gaze, Peter spoke, “Just get whatever you two have concocted ready. I doubt we have much-“

The sound that came about at that time would later be described as “that sucking noise that happens when you reach the bottom of a milkshake”. A second after the sound was heard, a great big wormhole type of hole appeared not too far from the ship, and slowly expelled a Starcrosser transport ship.

“Greetings from the N. Consistancy and Co.’s Starcrosser division!” the ship’s external voice projection system exclaimed, “We regret to inform you that you’ve either intentionally or unintentionally wandered far too close Star 4672 of the Hopeless Wonder quadrant, and will either have your molecules deconstructed, or be taken into custody, depending on how severe the infraction. We ask that you refrain from attacking during this process so that the safety of Everything, as well as it’s occupants, can be assured.”

Peter sighed despairingly as the entire crew looked toward him.

“Give whatever you have in your hands to the Ugly Boys,” he stated bravely.

“It looks as if we are going to have a fight on our hands.”